


The Darkness beckoning

by RussianWitch



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, M/M, Stream of Consciousness, non-relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-26
Updated: 2013-06-26
Packaged: 2017-12-16 06:38:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/859004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RussianWitch/pseuds/RussianWitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Originally written in 2004.<br/>Reflections on loyalty when everything is going to hell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Darkness beckoning

**Author's Note:**

> Not beta'd  
> Also extremely old...

In my youth I sought out the darkness.

I hungered for the knowledge it could bring me and with that knowledge the power it held. The vengeance that could be wreaked with said knowledge in my sights; just over the horizon of a pile of manuscripts containing all the secrets that had been denied me in my formal education.  
I found it in the form of one Thomas Marvello Riddle.

I came into his cold embrace willingly and in full knowledge of all that his embrace entailed.  
I have revelled in the horrors we inflicted on the unsuspected populace. I have taken pleasure in his attention and I have learned.  
Despite all appearances I have never regretted my choices or actions. Some of the consequences I would rather have not seen, but life is rarely fair to man or wizard. I still have fond memories of green eyes dancing with mirth before life happened. She is a price I paid for a prosperous future and willing teachers.  
I have learned from them and gained power through them so then why should I regret?

My bed companion stirs and rips me from my thought.  
He clings to me as if we are lovers and he would loath to release me.  
None of it is true of course in the light of day he will question his sanity for allowing me to lay my admittedly dirty hands on his body.  
I have enjoyed my-self otherwise he would not be in my bed still.

"Sev..."

An appalling butchery of my name...  
I have allowed only one person to use it without repercussions.  
My bed companion is not that person.

I push him away suddenly irritated by the undesirable closeness.  
He whimpers but does not protest because now he is finally truly awake.  
Pale amber eyes still full of sleep and already partly full of horror look up at me as I slide out of bed. When we were still boys there had been potential for us to be friends.  
The years and actions of Lupin's friends have killed that potential a long time ago.  
Our sharing a bed does not arrest the animosity that is between us.

"Awake at last I see?"

"Yes, thank you for letting me stay the night. I will be out of your hair momentarily."

His voice is gravelly from sleep and there is already a hint of self-loathing in it that pleases me, it may be petty but under the circumstances I allow myself the indulgence.  
I don't answer him, there is really no point.  
I retire to the bathroom where the house-elves have already readied my morning bath.  
One of the many plus points of living in the dungeons is the unlimited access to the hot water geysers situated deep under the castle.  
That and access to the facilities Salazar left behind after his passing.  
I had already discovered many of said facilities when I was still a student.  
When I returned as a teacher I made it a priority to discover the rest.

The water is full of minerals soothing all minor aches and pains in my body caused by the uncomfortable position I have slept in this night. After the water cools down a bit I submerge completely counting back from sixty slowly. The lack of air is tantalizingly close but I have no time for the exploration of this particular depravation.

There are no classes to teach as all out open war has started.  
I spend my time brewing medical and combat options when it is not occupied by Tom.  
Insane as he is now there is still a lot I can learn from the self named Dark Lord.  
Besides I prefer the company of the Dead Eaters these days: they are less morose.

Having finished all my morning ablutions I emerge in to my rooms again.  
Lupin is gone and breakfast is on the table.  
I finish it while going over the morning post, nothing remarkable in the stack and it is something I am grateful for. A quite beginning of the day has been a rare event in the past few months and I usually only long for it.  
Today I am lucky.

After breakfast I go to my laboratory where the bane of the last few years of my existence is waiting. 

"Mr. Potter." 

"Professor."

He is actually quite capable at potions when he puts his mind to it.  
I am eternally surprised that he has chosen to latch on to me now that his faith in Dumbledore has been irrevocably shattered by the death of his godfather.  
Suddenly all past slights have been forgotten and Potter has latched on to the last adult who has never broken his trust.  
Yes, I have in his eyes killed his godfather, I have abused and humiliated him but I have never lied and that is the only thing that seems to matter to him now. The brat has grown up, he does not care that I hurt him or that I hated his father.  
I can go on hurting and humiliating him as I wish and he will suffer it gladly as long as I don't lie to him or withhold information he thinks he is entitled to.  
It has never been my policy to protect the innocent from darkness or pain.

"Why haven't you switched sides yet?"

The question comes out of the blue.  
I look up, right into the boy’s eyes the colour of the death curse and wonder why I am still at Hogwarts keeping up appearances.

"I don't know. Perhaps I want to bring the Dark Lord something as proof of my renewed allegiance." 

"Then why not just take me? Or do you want me to come willingly?"

I am forced to admit, if only to myself, that I have not thought about any of this yet.

"Would you come willingly?"

I see him thinking, considering and wonder what he will do.

"I don't know, I think I would if I could stay with you.

The foolish boy!  
So trusting where he should know better; thinking himself safe by staying with me.  
He couldn’t be more wrong of course; should I present him to Tom, the Dark Lord would most likely give him to me, if he doesn’t kill the boy outright.  
He has promised to give Potter to whoever will present him with the brat.  
The boy would be my slave for the rest of his life, mine to do with as I please.  
The temptation is... great.

"Do you think that I would keep you safe?”

He doesn’t meet my eyes but I can feel him thinking, formulating his answer instead of blurting it out for once.

"No, but you wouldn't put me through more than I can handle at a time."

It is disconcerting to realize that the boy does know me some. I did not expect him to have actually paid attention in the last months of shadowing me around the castle. 

"True, I don't like my toys permanently damaged. Broken a slave is of no use to me."

I am amused by his logic and delight in the shiver that he cannot suppress at my answer.

"I thought so. Is that why you kick Remus out after fucking him?"

He sounds more curious than accusatory, strangely devoid of affection for his pseudo godfather. 

"Insolent brat! My relationship or lack of it with Lupin is none of your business."

He can be insightful at times even if he is sticking his nose in something that is none of his business. 

"But..."

"No buts."

He steps closer leaning against the workbench looking for once like the teenager he is supposed to be. It takes only a moment for his mood to change darkness creeping in to those over expressive eyes.

"Dumbledore is going to lose isn't he?"

He isn't quite asking, Potter sounds like he has resigned himself to that fact, I answer anyway. 

"He still lacks the Ministry support, and will keep lacking it as long as people are willing to look the other way for a few Gallons. There are no new resources coming in, no new supporters joining up...It is most likely that soon all will, settle."

"Then I will go with you."

I wonder if he has made that decision before coming to me today.  
Not that I will ever ask and I doubt that he will volunteer the information. I don't really need to know his motivation, only that he will follow through on his decision.

"Are you so eager to be enslaved for the rest of your life?"

"At least I will have a life."

He looks sincere and I have to make another admission: the reason I have stayed is standing in front of me willing to surrender to my tender mercies.  
Despite his obstinacy, recklessness and parentage Harry James Potter has immense potential, and I loathe for it to go to waste.  
So I have been waiting, even if it was subconscious, for him to come to me, to come with me.

"I will use you; use your body to my convenience."

I want to scare him; taste his fear on my tongue just to make sure this isn’t a whim. I do not want to be the hand that slays him if he changes his mind somewhere along the way.

"That's supposed to scare me off? Being your bed-slave isn't a fate worse than death, sir."

For an instant there is something in his eyes I do not understand.  
Determination to survive?  
Lust?  
Something else?

"And you base that judgment on what precisely?"

As usual he ignores my ire.

"Rumour, sir."

He always gets more formal when he wants something.  
I wonder where he has picked up that habit.  
He is such a rude little boy otherwise.  
I have come to enjoy the rudeness over the last year of working with him constantly.

With the war in full swing a lot of the people who have once scorned me have started to fear me instead and have become too cautious for insults as a result.  
Potter has refreshingly stayed the same.

"Rumour? And who would me spreading said rumour?"

"Malfoy, before he left."

Draco, only to be expected really.  
The boy has never had enough common sense to fear me.  
Unlike his father, Draco is of no use to me but since I have watched him grow from babe to young man I am reluctant to discipline him properly.  
Maybe I have been remiss.

"And how would Mr. Malfoy know the truth of his own statement? As far as I know he has never graced my bed with his presence?"

I wonder at the circumstances of their information exchange regarding my endowment, as far as I know they have never managed a civil word to each other. 

"He spied on you with his father."

Yes, something I would expect from the Malfoy spawn.  
Even as a child he had been too curious for his own good.  
Like the brat that is standing before me now.  
Had the circumstances been different Draco and Potter would have had the school coming down around everybody’s ears, they would have been unstoppable as a team.  
I thank the powers daily that they have never managed to get along.

"Did he now? Lucius really has to redo the wards on the secret passages at the manor."

The brat snickers.

"You will have to get along with both of the Malfoys by the way."

That wipes the grin right off his face.  
I have the pleasure of watching him think again.

"I don't mind Draco that much, when he isn't being a snot, sir."

At least if they wreck anything, it will be Lucius’ pretentious country estate. 

"Good you will be training along side with him."

"If you wish, sir."

I wonder how long this deferential streak will last.  
Surely now that he is guaranteed of his continued survival he will become his annoyingly impertinent self again?  
I wonder how Dumbledore will react to the treachery.  
I suspect that he will understand in the end.  
We all have to do what we can to triumph, to survive.  
If Potter survives and procreates then there will still be a chance in the future.

"We shall leave today."

Before either of us has time to come to our senses. 

"No time like the present huh?"

"Indeed."

There is really no use in finishing the potions we are making.  
With a flick of the wand I clean the workbench and stores.

"Do you have any possessions you wish for me to keep?"

"My Firebolt? Will you let me keep it?"

I should have known that he would ask about that broom of his.

"No, that would look too suspicious."

"Then I don't have anything."

His eyes tell me that he is lying but if he truly doesn't wish to take anything with him who am I to object?  
Maybe he doesn't want his possessions to be sullied by what he is about to do, what he is about to become.

"Follow me."

Unlike Potter I do have things I wish to have with me at all times.  
In my chambers I speak a spell and most of my possessions are teleported to Malfoy manor.  
Others which are too big or not so easily moved will stay.  
I start another spell asking the castle to seal my chambers until my return.  
The boy gapes through the whole exercise.  
But then he most likely has never seen spells so powerful before.  
He also didn't know that Dumbledore isn't the only one the castle listens to.  
My task finished, I grab the boy none too gently and he leans in to my grasp.

"Hidden depths Mr. Potter?"

He rubs his face along my upper arm dislodging his glasses slightly.

"I expect you will have enough time to find out later sir."

As predicted the cheekiness is starting to come back.

"Brat!"

I pull him closer against me and apparate.


End file.
